Hiya,

I'm writing this with hot lemon water (because apparently warm things are better for spleen Qi and digestion…I don't fully understand it but I'm committed), Minnie the Aussiedoodle plastered against me like she's trying to merge with my body, and crisp morning air rushing in from my apartment deck.

My brain this morning is doing that thing where it bounces between seventeen lanes at once: what's happening politically, my middle daughter graduating (!!!), when I can squeeze a workout in, and how to resist government overreach by practicing joy. That last one has been living in my head rent-free lately.

On that note, it's been time with friends and getting out to events that continues to fill my cup in order to avoid finding myself in the fetal position in a corner after watching the news and doom scrolling.

So, without further ado, we've got a packed weekend roundup for you below, and a few thoughts I want to share about beach balls, defensiveness, and what your comments taught me about seeing a fuller picture. Stay with me on this one.

I remember the first time I was brave enough to ask a colleague (that kind of functioned as my superior) for feedback. I was an early 20-something working as a director of music in a church. What could I do better? How could I lead better? He gently told me that sometimes I get defensive when people offer me feedback (at the time it was "more organ," "more drums, less organ," "more hymns, less rock" … I still get a little defensive thinking about it. In my eyes, I was a rag doll that could please no one… but trying to please everyone. Eventually I blended them all, organ, full band, choir, orchestra. I thought it was pretty great. Until someone said it was "too loud."

Anywho, my response to his feedback that I get defensive sometimes was "No, I don't." Ahhhhh shit. Got it.

It's taken me decades of practice, to listen… to train my nervous system to stay calm when my lizard brain tells me I'm threatened. It's also taken decades of practice working with and leading teams, to co-create spaces where people feel safe enough to share their perspective, and to truly value ALL the perspectives in the name of:

A) seeing what we hope is a full picture and, B) working together on real solutions.

I can’t think of a more relevant skill for ALL of us to work on, than really hearing one another’s perspectives. And effectively sharing our own. It’s tough. I know.

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