Twin Cities Self-Care Guide: 30 Solo Date Ideas

Scroll to whichever one your body perks up at.

Plus The Real Secret (the one that's free).

Context for funsies

I fully expected my 40s would bring me that coveted mid-life crisis chrysalis I'd heard about my whole life. 2019, newly divorced, ready to start a new chapter. THE WORLD WAS MY OYSTER. The oyster, it turned out, decided to clench its shells shut just as baby eyes with a fresh outlook peeped open to possibility.

So, the world shut down in 2020. And here in Minneapolis we lived through the murder of George Floyd, years of unrest, the Annunciation shooting, and Operation Metro Surge taking two more.

I'm really not trying to be a Debbie Downer, I'd much prefer being Happy Hannah. What I want to say out loud, is that the world has been heavy, and dark, and a whole lot. And on top of the grief, we've got a nutso bununtso running the country, the Epstein files, AI gunning for the steering wheel, and tech moving a kagillion times faster than our poor nervous systems were ever built for. And the list, oh, the list goes on. and on. and ON.

Pre-2020, my idea of self-care was a bath and a glass of wine. Now? Keeping my sanity, forget my actual joy, is a part-time job. The pay is garbage and the manager is an unhinged squirrel. (She's me.)

So, first things first. If you're overwhelmed or burnt out or just tired in a way you can't explain, you're not alone. Then add a star to your bingo card for every kid, partner, job, body, or aging parent you're keeping alive. Free space in the middle if you've sat in a parked car just to be alone for four minutes (and maybe cry a little).

That said, there are a lot of bright spots in this city, in the people, and in the day to day, that I believe can ground us and bring us back to our center when we make time for ourselves. Which coincidentally is what the whole mid-life chrysalis is really about, and one of the most important journeys we make (thank you, The Alchemist). Returning to who we are without labels, and titles, and thing-a-ma-jobs. It's remembering our essence and deciding how we want to move through this one beautiful life.

So now on the days I feel myself muscling and barreling through, I know what I actually need is some me-time. And for you? I put together a guide that I hope will encourage you to find your you-time. A little thesaurus of solo dates. Some a full day. Some a couple of hours. Some snack-size, for when you've got littles, or an aging parent to care for, or you're just easing into what it feels like to prioritize you.

And if the idea of going out in public on your own scares you, or makes you uncomfortable, all the more reason to give it a go. You might just come home to a part of you that's been waiting. And one asterisk here, if you're constantly solo or a bit isolated, consider inviting someone occasionally. We often find more of ourselves when we find ourselves in community.

Anyhow, take a look at the guide, and notice where your body perks up and gives you little clues that you might want to do that one. For me it's goosebumps, or little tears in my eyes. The tears are inconvenient, but they're the best antenna I know for pointing me which direction to move.

Price key
- $ Almost free (most under ~$40)
- $$ Moderate (~$40 to $110)
- $$$ Splurge (~$110 to $250)
- $$$$ Luxe, full-day investment ($250+)

For those of you who don't want to have to think, I've laid these out so your solo-date is effectively planned for you. For the rest of you who like to color outside the lines, good news, this isn't law, so mix and match to your heart's content.

One house rule running under all of these: the phone goes away. Face down, in another room, in the glovebox, in a locker, wherever it can't buzz at you. Silence or the absence of noise is step one, and the attention of presence is the real crème de la crème. Presence and a pinging phone cannot share a room. I'll say it this once and then never nag you again, but assume it's baked into every single date below.

Snack-size dates, 15 to 45 minutes

Start here if a whole day off sounds like a fantasy. No dress code, barely any planning, just you and a few spare minutes.

Solo dates for an afternoon

When you've got an actual afternoon, not a whole day.

Tolle's whole teaching is to stop time-traveling into your worry list of the future, or your regrets list of the past, and actually land in the moment you're in. I find my recharge and recentering most powerful when I'm most present in the now.

The spa day

It's no surprise, a spa is one of the rare places that helps you slow down. Your nervous system can't tell the difference between a real tiger and a full inbox. A few hours where nobody can reach you is one way to help your system out of fight-or-flight. The reset isn't just the massage. It's the couple hours your brain spends being unreachable.

The date: Book the longest block you can give yourself. Arrive early and hit the steam or sauna before your treatment so you're already loose. Take the treatment. Then do NOT rush out, sit in the quiet room with the tea. Leave slow, and go eat something good after. (Pick your spot below.)

Anda Spa · Downtown, Hotel Ivy · $$$$ · Luxe · Healing
Crystal dry sauna, a quartz hydrotherapy tub, gemstone and Himalayan salt-stone massage. The most glamorous spa day in the city. (Curated: the one I'd save for a milestone birthday.)

Four Seasons Spa · Downtown · $$$$ · Luxe
The full bougie hotel-spa ceiling. Go when you want to feel like a guest in your own life for a day. (Curated.)

Tula · Tangletown, W 48th St · $$ · Mindful · Healing
Woman-forward, earthy, organic. Therapeutic massage, advanced facials, Reiki, even yoni steaming if you're feeling adventurous. Bonus: two blocks from Nu Look, so make a whole afternoon of it. (Curated.)

The Darling Den · Cathedral Hill, St. Paul · $$ · Solo Escape · Relaxing
Holistic and charming, tucked in a sweet little house. The St. Paul side's quiet gem. (Curated.)

Woodhouse Spa · Rosedale, Roseville · $$$ · Girl's Day · Relaxing
The robe-and-quiet-room full-day ceremony. Tea, cookies, the works. (Curated: easy north-metro pick.)

The sauna and cold plunge ritual

The date: Bring water, flip-flops, and a cozy layer for after. Cycle it: 10 to 15 minutes hot, then the cold plunge for as long as you can stand (start with 30 seconds, you'll level up fast), then rest. Repeat three rounds. Finish on cold. Then sit in the afterglow with a tea and say nothing to anyone. (Pick your spot below.)

Watershed Spa and Baths · St. Anthony Main · $$ · Mindful · Cold-Plunge
A 7-part communal bathing ritual: soak, sauna, steam, cold plunge, rest, repeat. Add sound or energy healing if you want to go deeper. (Curated: the one every woman with good taste keeps telling me to try. Top of my list. Street parking only, so plan for it.)

PORTAL Thermaculture · West Maka Ska · $$ · Social · Nordic
The trendiest social sauna in town. Heat, plunge, repeat, then walk Bde Maka Ska next door. (Curated.)

Cedar & Stone Nordic Sauna · Four Seasons rooftop, Downtown · $$$ · Luxe · Nordic
Guided heat-cold-rest cycling on a rooftop with skyline views, tea service, the whole elevated thing. Women-only sessions on Sundays. (Curated.)

Embrace North · Northeast Minneapolis · $ · Budget · Cold-Plunge
The people's bathhouse. First-timers get two free sessions, then it's about $40 a month unlimited. The friendliest place to try cold plunge without committing your whole wallet. (Curated.)

Sauna Strong · Linden Hills · $ · Budget · Nordic
A $20 drop-in Finnish dry sauna. Recovery for the girl who likes her self-care a little sweaty. (Curated.)

Budget move (been there): the splurge you already paid for. If you've got a gym membership you're underusing, go spend a whole afternoon in the sauna, steam room, and cafe. Lifetime is my go-to for exactly this.

The long walk

His idea of walking meditation: slow down enough that each step is its own small act of attention. You don't need a forest (although forest walks are kind of amazing). You do need to notice you're walking.

The date: Pick a loop. Grab a coffee or pack a snack. Leave the earbuds out for the first ten minutes and just listen. Walk it slow, no pace goal, no step count. Find a bench or a rock with a view and sit a while before you head back. (Pick your trail below.)

Lake Harriet Loop + Bandshell + Rose Garden · Southwest Minneapolis · $ · Scenic · Outdoorsy
A 4.5km lakeside loop, the Rose Garden, free 6:30am yoga on summer mornings, and the bandshell. Bring a lawn chair, a book, and a little picnic, walk the lake, grab lunch at Bread & Pickle, then sit in the grass for live music. (Been there. This is my favorite version of a free afternoon in this city.)

Bde Maka Ska Loop · Uptown · $ · Social · Scenic
A 5km paved loop with separated walking and biking lanes, beach access, and PORTAL sauna right next door if you want to make it a double feature. (Curated.)

Minnehaha Falls · South Minneapolis · $ · Scenic · Outdoorsy
A 53-foot waterfall in the middle of the city, stunning in every season, easy loop, light-rail accessible. (Curated.)

Winchell Trail · West River Pkwy near E 44th St · $ · Solo Escape · Mindful
A pedestrian-only, wooded Mississippi gorge trail that feels like you drove hours away. Save it for the days you need real quiet. (Curated.)

Float tanks and salt caves

The date: Book a float or a salt session, and leave the rest of the day loose, you won't want to schedule a thing after. Do the thing. Do nothing. Then come back to the world slowly, drink your water, no rushing. (Pick your spot below.)

Sanctuary Float Spa · Minnetonka · $$ · Solo Escape · Mindful
Sensory-deprivation float tanks, the largest in the metro. Sixty minutes of total silence, zero gravity, and a quiet head. The reset for the woman who can't turn her brain off.

The Salt Cave · Multiple Twin Cities locations · $ · Mindful · Cozy
Halotherapy in a Himalayan salt cave, plus salt-cave yoga and sound therapy. Cozy, hygge, completely unique.

NE Wellness · Northeast Minneapolis · $ · Budget · Healing
Private infrared sauna, community acupuncture, cupping, aromatherapy. Holistic and affordable, more healing than pampering.

The cozy analogue night in

The cheapest, most underrated self-care there is, and it's free. You don't have to go anywhere to come back to yourself. Tonight, the whole plan is to need nothing and do nothing on purpose.

The date: One drugstore run for bubble bath, a face mask, and a little treat. Then home. Put a record on (or a playlist if that's what you've got). Run the bath, then take your time with a yummy-smelling lotion (if you're weird like me, thank your body as you go), and pull on the softest socks you own. Light the candle you've been "saving." Then a stack of library books, no agenda, no productivity, until you're sleepy. That's the whole plan.

Go analogue tonight: one real thing you can hold in your hands instead of one more thing you scroll.

A ritual to come back to center

Maybe the night-in becomes something with a little more intention. A ritual or ceremony, made to feel nourishing to you. This is the one where the deeper stuff gets to come out and play.

The date: First, gather your supplies. Stop at a crystal or metaphysical shop and pick up a few things that call to you (incense or palo santo, a candle, maybe a crystal or an oracle deck). Head home and clear a little surface. Build a small altar with something for each element: earth (a rock, or flowers from an earlier walk), water (any glass will do), fire (light the incense), and air (wave a little smoke around and feel it, that counts). Then journal about what you're letting go of, or vision about what you're calling in. Pull a card if you've got a deck. Sit with it.

How I do mine: lately I've been into incense and/or sage, or wood (palo santo). I set out earth, water, fire, and air, and for air I just wave my arm gently through the incense smoke and feel it ;). If I'm in a season of shedding, I journal about what I'm letting go of and not carrying forward. If I'm in a season of building, I vision about what I desire, or remember the desires I already have. I also love a pretty deck of oracle cards. No matter what you believe about them, I believe they become like anything else, a point of self-reflection.

Where to gather your supplies:

MoonStone MPLS · 3304 E Lake St, Minneapolis · Healing · Mindful
Crystals, candles, sage, oracle decks, and readings. The warm, welcoming shop carrying on the old Eye of Horus legacy. A wonderful first stop if this world is new to you.

Mystic Healing Stones · 3805 Chicago Ave, Minneapolis · Healing · Mindful
Beautifully curated crystals, tarot decks, and jewelry, fair-trade and lovingly sourced. The owner sometimes sends you off with a sound bath.

Magus Books & Herbs · 2520 Central Ave NE, Minneapolis · Mindful · Cozy
Books, herbs, incense, oracle decks, and back-table readings. The place to go when you want to read about the practice, not just buy the pretty rock.

Hall of Hekate · 526 7th St W, St. Paul · Healing · Mindful
Altar supplies, incense, oils, and locally made goods, plus classes. Perfect if you're building that altar from scratch.

And remember Jewel Weed out in Excelsior (see the day trip) is a dreamy supply run too.

The vinyl date

There's something about dropping a needle and listening to a whole album, start to finish, doing nothing else, that we mostly stopped doing. It's the most analogue afternoon there is, and analogue is just another word for present.

The date: Start with a favorite beverage and a little something (a good coffee, a juice-bar smoothie, a warm pastry). Then go dig through the crates at a record store, no list, and buy the one that gives you a feeling. No player at home? Today's the day you finally buy one. Then head home, drop the needle, and play that album front to back with nothing else going. Just listen.

Record stores to dig through:

Electric Fetus · 2000 4th Ave S, Minneapolis · Creative · Cozy
The iconic one. Records plus incense, posters, and gifts. (Closed Mondays.)

Cheapo Records · Nicollet Ave, Minneapolis (and Snelling Ave, St. Paul) · Budget
Enormous selection, great prices, open late.

Roadrunner Records · Kingfield, South Minneapolis · Cozy
Small, beautifully curated, and the friendliest counter in town.

Agharta Records · University Ave W, St. Paul · Budget
Head straight for the Dig Room and the dollar bins.

The creative date

You don't have to be good. You don't have to finish. The making is the point. Estés calls the instinctive, knowing part of us the Wild Woman, and she doesn't leave when life gets busy. She just goes quiet. Making something with your hands, badly and joyfully, is how you turn her volume back up. We lose touch with that wilder, more alive version of ourselves when we stop creating. A few hours of making is how you call her home.

The date (out): Book a class just for the joy of it. A pottery wheel night, a floral-arranging workshop, a candle-making session. Pick the one that sounds like play, not homework. Go, make a mess, take your little creation home.

The date (in): Set up the at-home creative hour. Watercolors, a coloring book, a vision board, supplies you already own, and a fancy mocktail. Put music on, set a timer for an hour, and don't let yourself judge a single thing you make.

Mark the moment

You know the one. The little thing you've been thinking about for three years and keep talking yourself out of. This is your sign to make a day of it. It's your body, your story, your one wild and precious whatever-you-want.

The date: Settle on the design and the shop, then book the consult. On the day: coffee first, then the appointment, then take yourself somewhere to sit and admire your new thing. Make a whole afternoon of it. (Pick your shop below.)

Leviticus Tattoo · E Lake St · $$ to $$$ · Creative
Beautiful, clean, welcoming, and the artists actually listen. (Been there. This is where I got my wolf. Craig’s the man if you need a rec.)

Guns N' Needles · 2401 Dupont Ave S · $$ to $$$ · Creative
Friendly, clean, great communication on pricing, easy to book.

Minneapolis Tattoo Shop · 2211 Lyndale Ave S · $$ to $$$ · Creative
Bright, welcoming, and they do cute Loon flash designs if you want something very Minnesota.

Tarot and card readings

Estés describes that wilder self as a knower, an oracle, an intuitive. Whether or not you believe the cards predict anything, sitting down with a good reader is really an invitation to listen to the part of you that already knows. Sometimes you don't need an answer. You need to slow down enough to hear the one you've been carrying.

The date: Book the reading. Bring a question, or just an open mind. After, sit with a coffee or a journal and write down whatever landed. (Optional: browse a crystal shop while you're at it, plenty of them above do readings too.)

3rd Eye Psychic Salon · W Lake St · $$ · Mindful
The most established readers in town by a mile. Bring a girlfriend, make it a thing, get ice cream after.

Many of the crystal and metaphysical shops in the ritual date (MoonStone, Magus, Hall of Hekate) also offer readings, so if you find a shop you love, ask.

A color analysis

The date: Book the analysis (solo, or grab a girlfriend or two and make it a group session). Show up with bare-ish skin and an open mind. After, go window-shop your new palette, or treat yourself to one piece in a color you were just told to wear. (Pick below.)

House of Colour (Marissa Ray) · Southwest Minneapolis · $$ to $$$ · Girl's Day
Science-based seasonal draping. Works with women, men, and kids of every skin tone. Your season never changes, so it's a one-time gift to yourself.

ColorFixx · Edina, comes to you · $$ · Girl's Day
In-home color consultations, with a custom swatch fan mailed to you after.

The Stylery Colour Studio · Minneapolis · $$ to $$$ · Girl's Day · Social
Does group "color party" sessions. Perfect for a birthday, a book club, or a date-night-with-the-girls twist.

Thrift, browse, and wander

A whole afternoon with no goal except to wander is its own kind of medicine. No agenda, no purchase required. The wandering is the thing. Aimless is not the same as wasted. Let yourself meander.

The date: Coffee in hand. Pick a thrift shop or a bookstore and go in with no list and no clock. Buy only what makes you grin. End at a coffee shop with your finds and your journal. (Pick below.)

Nu Look Consignment · 50th & Penn, Southwest Minneapolis · $ to $$ · Budget
Two floors plus a basement full of shoes. Designer finds at thrift prices. (Been there, and I've found some genuinely good stuff.)

Magers & Quinn · Uptown · $ · Cozy · Solo Escape
The bookstore crawl starts here. Lose an hour in the stacks, then take your finds to a nearby coffee shop and read.

Pair it: any of these plus a favorite coffee and a journal is a full, free solo date.

A day trip

Sometimes the reset requires leaving town, even just by 30 minutes. A little distance does something a familiar room can't. Changing your scenery changes your nervous system. Even a short drive somewhere new gives your brain a clean page.

The date: Pick a town or a park. Leave earlier than feels necessary. Wander or hike with no agenda. Find a local spot for lunch. Drive home at golden hour with the windows down. (Pick your destination below.)

Stillwater · ~30 min east, on the river · $ to $$$ · Girl's Day · Scenic
Wander historic Main Street, walk the river, and book a salt-cave-and-mineral-pool session at one of the town's wellness spots. Tack on a hike at William O'Brien State Park nearby (Marine on St. Croix), and stop at the throwback Marine General Store. The classic Twin Cities day-trip-that-feels-like-a-vacation. (Curated.)

Excelsior · ~25 min west, on Lake Minnetonka · $ to $$ · Cozy · Scenic
Window-shop the cutest little downtown, then walk the lake with an ice cream. My favorite stop is Jewel Weed, full of organic oils, crystals, books, and jewelry. (Been there. Jewel Weed is one of my happy places, even when I don't buy a thing.)

Afton State Park · ~40 min southeast · $ · Outdoorsy · Solo Escape
The best bluff hiking near the metro, around 20 miles of trails over the St. Croix. In fall, pair it with a nearby apple orchard.

Interstate State Park · Taylors Falls, ~1 hr · $ · Scenic · Outdoorsy
Glacial potholes, dramatic river cliffs, and a paddlewheel boat ride on the St. Croix. You can easily fill a whole day.

Banning State Park · Sandstone, ~1.5 hr north · $ · Outdoorsy · Mindful
The rushing rapids of the Kettle River and trails through old sandstone quarry ruins. Quieter, wilder, gorgeous.

Whitewater State Park · ~2 hr southeast · $ · Scenic · Solo Escape
Limestone bluffs and trout streams in the driftless country. One of the prettiest in the state and far enough to feel like a real getaway.

Duluth + the North Shore · ~2.5 hr north · $$ to $$$ · Scenic · Solo Escape
Worth staying the night. Walk the Lakewalk along Lake Superior, watch the boats at Canal Park and the Aerial Lift Bridge, tour the Glensheen Mansion, and catch the sunset from Enger Tower. If you want the full North Shore, Gooseberry Falls is just up the road. The biggest reset on this list.

Solo meals and nights out

A table for one is not a sad thing. It's a power move. Eating well, or going out, by yourself and on your own terms is its own quiet luxury. Bring a book, order the thing you actually want, taste it slowly. You're good company. You've met you.

The date: Take yourself to a proper lunch, or buy the single ticket to a show and have dessert after, lingering on purpose. Either way: dress for YOU, get there a little early, and let it be unhurried.

To eat:

Brim · Uptown · $$ · Cozy
Organic, healthy, and a dream if you're gluten-free. (Been there, a favorite.)

NOLO's Kitchen & Bar · North Loop · $$ · Solo Escape
Great for a solo work-date lunch. Get the salmon. (Been there, and the salmon bowl lives in my head.)

Bread & Pickle · Lake Harriet · $ · Outdoorsy
Grab lunch and eat it in the grass by the water. (Been there.)

To go out:

Lake Harriet Bandshell · Southwest Minneapolis · $ · Outdoorsy · Social
Free summer concerts, the Minnesota Orchestra and a parade of local bands. A blanket and a sunset and zero dollars. (Been there. The wholesome summer night you'll actually keep doing.)

Berlin · North Loop · $ to $$ · Mindful · Social
A jazz club with candlelit, curtain-backed vibes and shows that are often free. Order a cocktail, let the music do the work.

The Guthrie or the Ordway · Minneapolis / St. Paul · $$ to $$$ · Solo Escape
Buy the single ticket. A play, the symphony, whatever calls you. Dessert and a cocktail at the bar after, alone, on purpose.

Want the full map? I've already done the work: 150+ Twin Cities spots organized by neighborhood live in my Minneapolis Eats Guide.

The one that's free

I don't know if this is a secret, as much as it is a knowing as old as our lineage extends, and as deep as our bones: the secret I've found, and heard from others, to finding joy and freedom and courage (even in, or perhaps especially in, the midst of chaos), is remembering who we are. It's creating enough space and quiet that we can cultivate full presence and awareness, and notice what's coming up from the inside... and what beauty is all around us on the outside.

It's remembering who we are without titles, and jobs, and thing-a-ma-bobs. And then moving and living, and making decisions, from that place of knowing who we are.

Take a minute. Can you imagine what you'd feel like if you didn't have any of the pressures of the world on you? What does that feel like? Actually take a few breaths to feel that.

Now... if you can imagine it, and you can feel it, then it's available to you right now. So whether you splurged or spent nothing today, the practice is presence.

The moment we have is the one we're in.

Xox, Jen

PS: The Minneapolis Edit is backed by my real estate business. Yes, Realtor-ing is how I pay the bills, and I love that work too. This is just what I love to do. If you, or anyone you know, is considering a move, shoot me a message and let's see if I'm a good fit to help.

🤍 Save this for your next self-care day. — The Minneapolis Edit